ProjectGorgon:On Dealing With Rakshasa Ships
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 On Dealing With Rakshasa Ships
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Hint: In Statehelm
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| Category: | Gods
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| Visibility: | Hidden Until Found
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ProjectGorgon:On Dealing With Rakshasa Ships is a ProjectGorgon:Lorebook found in ProjectGorgon:Michael Irasce's bookshop in the city of ProjectGorgon:Statehelm.
Content
On Dealing With Rakshasa Ships
by ProjectGorgon:Captain Pragmax, the Scourge of ProjectGorgon:Windstoke Bay
Preface
ProjectGorgon:Remga's 8th rule of Piracy (Modernized Rules):
8. When you board a vessel or take a town, kill the most heroic ones and let the cowards live. In the long term, this incentivizes proper captive behavior. Don't let them all live: that's too nice. And don't only let one person live, either: that's too slow! Remember that your infamy only grows if people are telling the story of how vicious you are. Optimize accordingly!
We all want to become the next ProjectGorgon:Captain Grushank or the next ProjectGorgon:Vile Ragbada. But the recent proliferation of rakshasa ships has caused a new problem, one we need to learn to deal with.
The Problem Of Rakshasa Captives
Let me set the scene. We had boarded a small rakkie merchant ship. Every single damnable cat-person fought us without a second thought. Even when a dozen furry corpses were lying on the deck, they kept coming. Yes, they killed some of my crew, but not more than one goblin per rakshasa. In desperation to take some captives, I told them to yield, promised them they would live if they did. I had my men fall back to give them a chance to surrender. But they just charged. What were they thinking? Why did they keep fighting? I don't know. They all died.
Then we came to the hold. And what did we find? A young rakkie cub. She was hiding in a cupboard. "Please don't come any further! I'm scared. I don't want to have to kill you!" She was shaking, claws out, ready to pounce. My first mate laughed at her until she dug her wretched claw-fingers into his face.
She went down fighting. Pointlessly. There were no survivors, and my infamy did not grow that day.
I do not understand why the rakshasa people behave this way. It baffles me. Even against impossible odds, they never show their fear of death.
The Spark of Fear
We all know that orc ships are difficult to capture. Orcs are all bravado and swagger, the females just as bad as the males, and aboard ships they're usually drunk which makes it even worse. We always lose crew when we take an orc ship. But after a few dozen orcs die, the others change tactics. They fall back. They may not surrender explicitly, but they allow themselves to be captured. And so they live. We know when it's going to happen because we can see it in their eyes: the fear of death. The realization that they aren't going to win. The mad desperate scramble to come up with a new plan.
Rakshasa generals can pull their armies back tactically, but in the field, without direction, the damned cats always fight to the death. Why? Who knows. There probably isn't a good reason: I think they're just brain-damaged.
Without the fear of death, we can't capture them. We can't make them fear us. We can't condition them to behave appropriately around pirates.
But last year, I had a wondrous discovery. I am only willing to publish this discovery after having successfully taken over ProjectGorgon:Windstoke Bay. The cats now fear my crew! They fight viciously, but when a few die, they fall back, they panic. They jump overboard! Anything they can think of. It's wonderful. What's the secret?
Druids
I don't know why. I don't CARE why. But for some reason, everyone raised in ProjectGorgon:Rahu is terrified of druids. They don't really seem to understand what druids are, though.
We never would have found this weakness except that we had a foolish weather witch on board. Suicidally, she took to the skies above the ship to watch the carnage. When the rakkies saw her, did they shoot her down like the idiot she was? No. They screamed "druid!" and panicked.
Something very bad must have happened in Rahu to make them all so scared of druids, and yet not understand how to recognize one. But the explanation is unimportant. The important thing is I have a process that works:
1: If you're flying and shooting lightning, you're definitely a druid as far as they're concerned.
2: If they see any sort of dragon... even if it's just a neophyte's illusory dragon that wouldn't fool an orc, they'll scream that it's a transformed druid!
3: If you have an actual druid, have them summon plants. Just some stupid lily pads are sufficient. Of course, most pirate druids don't use plant magic while aboard a ship, for obvious reasons. But it doesn't matter that it's useless: have them use it anyway.
I know it sounds stupid, but it works! Trust me!
And never let a rakkie read this! Keep it untranslated.
We all share the same goal, brothers and sisters. We shall rule the seas and retire rich! And these fur-covered idiots are just the latest obstacle to our domination. Follow Remga's rules, plus my advice, and be prosperous!