ProjectGorgon:Diary of a Failed Maid

http://cdn.projectgorgon.com/v456/icons/icon_5792.png	Diary of a Failed Maid
"The sensational best-selling diary of a maid from the Crone Hegemony. This was saved from obscurity due to one scene that documents the first sabotage attack of the (at-the-time-unrecognized) Night Executioner, the deadly hitman who is STILL. AT. LARGE. Read of his first heinous exploits here!"
Value: 500
Stack Size: 1 Keywords: Consumable, Document, Scroll,

How to Obtain

Purchasing

• Michael Irasce in Statehelm for 1000 councils. Requires [Neutral] favor.

Drops

This item has not been submitted by an editor as loot, or may not exist as loot

Uses

Lore

http://cdn.projectgorgon.com/v456/icons/icon_4006.png Diary of a Failed Maid
Hint: Found in Statehelm
Category:	Misc
Area:	Statehelm
Visibility:	Hidden Until Found

Diary of a Failed Maid is a Lorebook purchasable in Statehelm.

Content

• Translated from Crone by Orregar the Scribe. It is believed this diary belonged to a human servant in the Crone Hegemony.

--

I have failed my master again! I try so hard, but I cannot manage to get everything done in time! I'm just too slow. Too clumsy. Too disorganized. Lady Wuxhar beat me so severely this time that I'm unable to sleep from the pain. She used her talons...

I've made up my mind to ask to leave in the morning. I will take the pilgrimage of Strekios.

--

Lady Wuxhar agreed, as tradition demands. But she laughed and said I was committing suicide -- an I may well be. I just see no other way of improving. Nobody here will take the time to help me be a better maid, and I can't take more beatings. So I set out tomorrow at dawn.

The beating that Lady Wuxhar gave me tonight was mild. I believe she pities me. And she should! I began to regret my decision the moment I spoke it aloud... but you do not renege on a vow to visit a Strekios camp!

--

I have traveled far today -- four miles, perhaps five. My feet are sore and my food is already low. But if I am headed in the right direction, I should arrive tomorrow.

--

It has been two days since I last wrote. I have been traveling in the wrong direction! I am sure of it, for last night I realized I was in the Forest of the Greenest Siren. I heard her singing! The siren's song was beautiful, but so frightening. Her voice filled my head, then it took control of my feet. I was forced to trek through the woods towards her sound. But my sense of direction is so poor that I got turned around... I didn't manage to find her before day broke. The singing stopped, so I ran away as fast as I could. I have never been more scared. Never!

I am now out of food, and my feet are bleeding and sore. I lost my shoes somewhere in the woods. I have no idea what to do.

--

I found a Strekios Camp just outside the woods! But... it's not the one I'm traveling to. I had meant to head to Ormala City's camp, the Camp of Laborers. This camp is... I don't know. I was too afraid to ask. Lumberjacks, I think.

I was so hungry that I worked up the courage to ask for food. They asked no questions, just gave me food and a smelly bedroll. So I'll try to sleep now, surrounded by these terrifying people. There are orcs here, and minotaurs! If I live through the night, I'll head back home in the morning.

--

At breakfast, an ork asked me why I came to the Night Warden Strekios camp. I laughed and explained that I had meant to find a far different camp. Imagine! A maidservant becoming a Night Warden! But she didn't laugh. She looked so concerned that I asked what was wrong.

Folga explained that it was too late to leave. Once you sleep at a Strekios camp, you are enrolled. Leaving won't help me now: Strekios's judgement will come in one year, no matter where I go.

She sat with me and tried to help me for a while, but soon Folga had to go -- she is in her eighth month, and is struggling to advance her study of alchemy. I spent the rest of the day wandering the camp in shock.

I have no idea what Night Wardens actually do. And if I am honest with myself, I really hate the outdoors! But now, if I want to survive, I must become a Night Warden... in one year!

I am doomed.

--

It is month 3. I have been so sore and so miserable these past two months that I could not bring myself to write in my trusty diary.

Some of the people here are hunters and warriors who wish to become Night Wardens. Others are Night Wardens already, and came here because they'd reached a plateau in their skills. Nobody is as green as me, but I found a few others who are beginners, and each day I just try to follow them around and try to do everything they do. Everyone here is kind, and I try to be kind in turn. We all know the judgement in store for us. This is not a year for pettiness. This is the most important year of our lives.

--

Every part of my body aches every day. But today I kept up with my friends on their twelve-mile march! I have learned much about the woods. And I learned that our camp is near the Greenest Siren on purpose: at night, many of the younger Night Wardens tie themselves to trees and listen to her singing, trying to overcome the mind control.

And I will be tied tomorrow, to listen to the singing. I am so afraid! But what have I to lose? I guess I'll never be a decent maid, or a decent Night Warden... but with this training, maybe I can become a hunter or a guard or... something. The only direction is forward.

---

My friend Gerrt is dead. We tied each other to trees last night as we often do, but he said not to tie his ropes too tight. He wanted to see if he could convince himself to stay put if the ropes were slack. I did as he asked... and I saw him escape the ropes and run off. I shouted, "help me, untie my ropes too!" All I wanted was to meet the siren. I am so weak-minded.

In the morning, some of the actual Night Wardens went and retrieved his body, now a shriveled husk. They said that even trained Night Wardens have a hard time ignoring a siren. I was foolish to listen to Gerrt's request. He was just trying to show off to me! And I got him killed. My heart breaks... but I must push on!

---

Month five. I have much to catch up on, diary, but not much time.

My friend Folga, the orc who I met on my first day here, did not pass her trial. I heard her screaming in her sleep, and when I ran to awaken her, I couldn't! So I held her as she moaned and wailed. Eventually she passed. Strekios is a cruel god. A horrible god! But I cannot turn back now.

Also, I lost the small fingers on my right hand during knife training last month. This goes well with the long scar on my face from two months earlier, and the gashes in my legs... I am just not fast enough! At the advice of a minotaur named Hevek, I have switched to training with the hammer. It seemed ludicrous at first, but after barely a month of swinging it, my poor sore arms are beginning to look like a minotaur's. I know I'll never find a husband now! But that is the least of my priorities.

Switching weapons in the middle of the year is very risky. But my injury made it hard to fight with a knife, so I had little to lose. I just have to keep pushing forward.

Month ten. I should have written more here. My hammer training has gone better than I could have expected. I look bizarre, a short woman swinging a warhammer, and the actual Night Wardens can still disarm me easily, sending me sprawling. But I can hold my own against other beginners, and that is better than I was doing with the dagger.

Half of my ribs are cracked or broken from a sparring injury. I spent a week at the infirmity tent, slathered in healing moss. But that's all the time I could spare. Each breath is still painful. But I persevere! Oh! Another fact: I weigh half again as much as I did when I arrived. My legs look like tree trunks.

Also... the most important thing: I have fallen for a man. His name is Trevor. He's new, and strong and gorgeous to look at. I wish I could see him when he's done with his year! But I know my time is coming soon... so without anything to lose, I made love to him last night. It was... not fun, due to my ribs, but I hated the idea of dying a virgin. Tonight we shall try a different approach, with me on top...

--

Month twelve. I do not know the exact day I will die, but it will be in a few weeks. I have become short-tempered. It is hard to keep my food down. I am nervous all day. Trevor tries to comfort me, but we both know what will happen soon. I'm not ready to be a Night Warden. I've barely started my alchemical training! There's still so much to learn... but I won't be around to learn it.

Tonight I told Trevor to stop visiting me at night. I've been slowing down his studies, and he needs to train as hard as possible -- his combat skills are below mine. He was upset, but he finally agreed to leave me.

--

It is over, I can tell! Last night was my saving grace, perhaps.

I sensed my time had come and I was afraid of sleep. In my despair I went to visit Trevor. He and his friends were tying themselves to trees again to listen to the damned siren. So I was bound as well. At least her song starves off sleep!

In the dark of the night someone came and cut our ropes! I do not know who did this, but they are a murderer! Five of us found ourselves newly freed, just as the Greenest Siren's song began. But when I heard her voice... I didn't have to follow.

The others were not so lucky. I called out to them, but they ignored me. They each headed off toward where they thought the song came from. I chased after Trevor. He wouldn't listen to me because of the spell, and he's bigger than me so I couldn't stop him. All I could think to do was hammer him. I cracked some ribs, but he'll live. I tied him up and then sat down to keep him company. The siren's song kept up, but I sang over it, trying to help Trevor fight it. At some point, I fell asleep out there, next to Trevor.

I awoke in the morning to Trevor calling my name, asking me to untie him. But my dream... I saw Strekios! Strekios nodded at me. That's all: just a nod. I don't think I passed with high marks. I don't know what Boon I earned -- it isn't anything obvious. But I passed! And so my year is up. I've never felt such relief!

I'm not sure what I'll do now. I'm allowed to stay a few more months to help the others train, so I'll do that. And I need to figure out how several peoples' ropes were cut last night. Something evil is afoot... something a Night Warden wouldn't ignore. And tonight... tonight I'll show Trevor what it's like to have sex with broken ribs. He has it coming!

Beyond that, I'm not sure. I guess I'll look for a Night Warden to apprentice to. There's no way I'm going back to my old life as a servant. I'm leaving this diary behind, too. I don't need it anymore. I'm a different woman now.